Amsterdam 2022

I woke up at 8:02am on a beautiful Sunday morning - I don’t like solid numbers. I walked outside into the misty air and stood near the stream surrounding the house we rented for the weekend. It was a gloomy morning but nothing we hadn’t expected. It was supposed to rain all weekend but we got lucky with blue skies and warm weather the previous two days. If there was one day to enjoy the natural beauty of Amsterdam, and maybe feel a few raindrops on my face, it would be today.

As I stood outside on the airbnb patio, I looked over the stream and saw the neighbor's cows slowly trotting closer. They stopped ten meters away and grazed peacefully as other animals tried to coexist; a black cat ran through the tall grass jumping just high enough that his face and tail would peek over the top of the untouched grass. I took a deep breath of the fresh air that, surprisingly enough, did not smell like cows and tried to take as many mental images as possible so I could never forget my perfect Dutch morning.

Inside, my three friends got ready for the day by making coffee, putting on makeup and clothes, and packing the rest of our things into our backpacks. I walked inside through the double doors and shut them behind me, half smiling while releasing a breath. Rylie and I made eye contact and she reciprocated with a smirk while asking, “Sara, do you want any coffee or toast?”

“No, I’m good. Remember what the guy said yesterday - I’ll have the best experience if I don’t eat anything before. I don’t wanna feel sick on the way there or inside the museum.” I replied in excitement. 

“Oh right, I forgot about that, you were paying attention! Put the coke in the side of my backpack - I can hold it for you, in case you need.”

I laughed and responded, “You are too kind,” with a playful gesture. “I think I’ll be fine. The guy at the smartshop gave me a decent dosage and walked me through the process. I’m just excited at this point.”

Caroline came and joined the conversation with big eyes saying, “Wait, Sara, did you take them already?”

I nodded my head no but smiled as I took out the airtight bag, began to open it, and poured what looked like interesting green nuts into my hand. “The guy said they would taste bad but I’m just gonna chase with water,” I said looking up at Caroline and Rylie, “It wouldn't be bad to hydrate a little.” I threw the ‘nuts’ into my mouth and grinded up the dry, waxy texture between my teeth, eventually washing it down with a small sip of water. Stephanie emerged from the bathroom with news that our taxi was five minutes away so we grabbed our packed backpacks and started walking down the cobblestone street, leaving the cows and weekend home behind us. 

We arrived at our pick-up spot right as the car was pulling up. Stephanie sat in the front seat and started conversing with the taxi driver, per usual, while Rylie, Caroline, and I piled into the back, making sure I had a window seat. I dozed off into my own thoughts for the next fifteen minutes as we drove into the city center of Amsterdam. As we pulled up to the Rijksmuseum and stepped out of the car, my stomach and eyes started to do weird things. 

Outside the glorious Rijksmuseum was perfectly groomed green flora with funky colored and shaped sculptures scattered throughout the maze-like garden. As we approached the old bricks and arched corridors, we passed a woman playing the accordion but hurried past to scan the tickets and check our bags. 

“Why are we in such a rush, let's enjoy the music a little bit.” I said, mesmerized by any new stimulus. 

“We’re hungry and need to get a bite at the cafe. I know you’re not eating anything but would you want to just sit and chill with us for a bit?” Rylie said as they all recognized the smile on my face and wonder in my eyes. I nodded my head in agreement - at this point, I appreciated my surroundings no matter the circumstance. 

As we were brought to our table, I watched my feet step on each of the spiraling stone squares tiles beneath me, surrounded by families speaking different languages, and tall brick walls growing around us, cemented together with aging grout.  English and Dutch menus were brought over and my roommates began to discuss what they were ordering while I tried to pronounce the Dutch food items. At the time, I thought I was fluent but I butchered more words than there were on the page. 

My attention was redirected to the walls, mesmerized by nothing more than the spacing of the grout. I interjected into whatever conversation my roommates were having, knowing it wasn’t nearly as important as my grout findings. Before I could explain my fascination, Stephanie asked, “Sara, who would win in a fight: a bear or moose?” 

“Stephanie, I am so sorry but my brain literally won’t even let me contemplate that because it simply does not matter. I cannot debate that in this state but,” I jolted out with an energy change, “Guys, lemme explain what my brain does comprehend right now.” The three of them were intrigued and leaned in, waiting to hear my new philosophical perspective on life.

“So like, everything is alive. The ground, the walls, oh - I can't look at your faces for too long or else I get freaked. But! The bricks and grout guys! Imagine this, the bricks and grout are an aerial view of the city with the bricks being buildings and grout being streets, and right now, all the people are walking to work.” I said while I brushed my finger along the grout between two bricks. Their faces lit up. I could tell they appreciated my idea but did not fully understand, and that was okay. Soon enough, we asked for the check and went to explore the museum, starting with the oldest art dating back to the 1200’s. 

We wandered the first of five floors separately, all appreciating different varieties of art; however, I had a different take: an appreciation for the frames, not the actual paintings. The colors were vivid but the frames were alive. Each wooden carve and golden plate was perfectly cut to bring out the importance of each painting. After the frames, I loved the benches, which were not necessarily art, but they were to me. 

By the time we got to the fifth floor (approximately six hours later), I was expecting to have a new perspective on life. To my disappointment, not much had changed; however, it was clear that my happiness is found in the little things - the things that usually go unnoticed. I found what comforted me in a world of chaos: wooden frames and benches, brick walls (grout included), and beautiful stone tiles. While I wasn’t a new person, I was reminded to not let the unimportant comments and judgements get to me - a bear versus a moose?